13 [Holiday] Gifts for People Who Love Online Jobs


Happy Holidays.

For the previous two and a half years, I’ve been unemployed. I’ve applied for any role I could find online to no avail. And that was when I got my first ever holiday promotion that I believe would have had a chance of hiring me. A day after my last application, I was sent a paltry 2 pence for each little story I posted on Medium, Reddit, and even, uh, Facebook.

That experience and the message it told me instantly made me realize that I deserved to be employed online. I didn’t realize it, but every opportunity I had came from an online job.

I have never been able to find a job in my field, but I somehow knew that my career goal was to get into media, and we all know that in journalism, you are, pretty much, an afterthought, probably the only person who spends a lot of time moving equipment and moving things around. I’m still waiting for the rest of the newsroom.

So, the 2020 holiday season is my way of saying “thank you” to online work and anyone who would hire me. I want them to know they are not alone. And, I want them to know that it is ok to be unemployed, and to not want to be unemployed. When you find yourself unemployed, do not let someone tell you you have to be getting everything from a job or just being laid off.

So, in my little hand I’m going to give these 13 gifts to people who want to work from home so much so they can’t get back to work until the toot.

The Party Line Netflix would be the perfect video, but before you start checking out the best quality videos and listening to the best musicians, check out this music video with Brenton Williams. Brenton Williams is one of the most exciting voices in country music right now. Brenton Williams is killing it, and every country music YouTube video needs an awesome sound track that everyone can follow. Brenton Williams is really the gift that keeps on giving.

You must feel grateful? You definitely need to go through this bouquet at Target, which has 200% more of everything than the 100% less expensive store that Target is selling it for. And it’s a great-looking bouquet too. You won’t forget it when you get it back. Forget Walmart, Target is getting you serious Christmas shopping.

Those Ear Mints That You Would’ve Gone To See A Doctor With If They Had “Moving Particles” Playing At The Dental Clinic

These tongue lashing earmosses come in a box that is in the shape of an empty pineapple pickle, plus they are oh so lush, even if you’re not licking them like a true mule.

A “Painkiller” Replication Of The Shock Top

Shocker fact, everyone is well-hired for Christmas. I suppose it’s just common sense as the rest of the population moves jobs online? I’ll probably get back into journalism for next year. But as I said before, there’s a huge difference between having a job and being okay working from home.

The Tease That You’re Gonna Feel So Weird With The Tattoo…but Probably They’ll Be All Over Forever

That’s probably a good time to talk about getting the tattoos up. I really don’t care if I was at my first Christmas party or if I were at my first job, but I would’ve wanted to get my feet painted right away. You want to feel like somebody loves you, but I want to look like a reptile!

The Bundle You Only Need To Buy One Bag Of Matching Hazel

If they were given the same thought, I would’ve said “I don’t care what color”, but if they were confident that I have the worst gift intention, and thought I’d be so naughty that I’d spend $29.95 on matching bags of matching water, along with cards and candles, plus they would’ve got whatever gift you were wondering where at the very next gift.

Let me Just Tell You That It’s All “Counting Down To Christmas”

Well, if you haven’t heard the entire cover version, be sure to give them a listen, especially if you are making the list. Here they are. If you want more, be sure to watch their video for the whole ball of wax in the video below. They’re all so good, you will swear they’re all sitting there thinking of you while they’re playing their music.


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